Los Darwin Awards son otorgados cada año a aquellos que remueven sus genes del proceso evolutivo en la forma más idiota.
First Place Candidate for this year's Darwin Awards.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger
again. This time it worked.
*******************
Honorable mentions:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved
*******************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
*******************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to
a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
*******************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could
get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
*******************
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
*******************
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious.
Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.
*******************
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King
in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
*******************
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.
First Place Candidate for this year's Darwin Awards.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger
again. This time it worked.
*******************
Honorable mentions:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved
*******************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
*******************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to
a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
*******************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could
get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
*******************
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
*******************
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious.
Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.
*******************
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King
in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
*******************
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.
